Why SEXY is not necessarily a compliment......
Ok, so we all WANT to be sexy - its the basis of most of our fashion media, why we wear outfits that flatter, colour/style our hair, wear make up - I could go on.....
However....it seems that telling complete strangers that they are 'sexy' has become a compliment??!!! Well excuse me for being a little old fashioned, but... sexy by definition means that you find that person sexually attractive and or are sexually aroused....and some things are just not necessary to express..... (and to those who say that it doesn't MEAN that when people say it/is said to them - buy a dictionary!!!!!).
When you approach a stranger and tell them they are sexy (hey sexy, wow your sooo sexy for example)... you are telling them something very intimate, that they may not wish to know, about the affect that they have on you..... you might aswell flash your bits at them and be done..and we all know THAT is inappropriate (I hope).
Our very existance should afford us the basics of respect, add to that personal proclivities and relationship status and you should be thinking a great deal about how you approach someone ... first impressions last after all.
It rather saddens me that this will end up being a subject of controversy, that women will sneer at my thoughts and encourage men to be over familiar in such a manner. But we really must think what it is we are teaching to our children, both male and female, about the boundaries that online social networking (and where would we be without it in all honesty) has so successfully blurred.....
Just think how you would feel/react if a stranger walked up to you in the street, walked into your personal space and said ' hey sexy'.......what if it was a strange man doing it to one of your female relatives..... just because its online does not make it any less inappropriate, invasive or insulting.....it just means that consequences are at a minimum and its easier for people to refuse to respect you - dont let them persuade YOU to disrespect yourself by allowing them liberties....
Sunday 4 March 2012
Monday 27 February 2012
Why I sometimes feel ashamed I am fat.
There is a reason I am overweight..... right?? Im greedy and lazy.... I over consume and I do nothing to counteract that...... WRONG......
Yes I have my moments (who doesn't). Yes I have taken solace in the fridge instead of facing my problems head on.... (again who doesn't).... I have at times replaced love in my life, with the consumables in my cupboard....(is it really just me??)
However, for many years I have lived on a diet far more healthy than the average... I rarely buy processed meals (ok maybe a pizza from the freezer dept), my takeaway consumption is sporadic....(ie mainly unaffordable) and I live (lucky for me....) in an area where a weeks vegetables cost me less than a packet of cigarettes.... I drink 3 bottles of wine a week (ok a little excessive..... ish) but even a trip to a nutritionist/dietition at my local hospital could only suggest I eat less cheese (which I do) and go from semi skimmed milk to skimmed milk (which I will never do - i'd rather go without). I have a very demanding life, with work that surely burns as many calories as the lady sat next to me... yet I am clinically obese.... ????
This is sadly not what shames me..... the shame and humiliation I feel is when people judge me....when they make THEIR issues... my issues.....
There is an onslaught of obesity related reality tv shows lately - that inform us of how much of a drain on society I am (as opposed to drug taking, violence and excessive childbirth I suppose)......I feel constantly brow beaten about diet and excercise... with my face shoved into the emaciated (or even silicone - because they have lost all that is natural) breasts of size zero fashion icons...I cannot eat in public without the fear of ridicule, I cannot shop for clothes because the worlds fashionistas have determined I am not worthy of style (more on that later)... I have nothing left to me but guilt and the solace (and eventually more guilt....) that an extra slice of toast will bring.... I hide in shame away from your laughter and your force fed ideas of perfection... I am just as much (ok maybe a bit more) human than you - I am quite aware of the downfalls of being me without constantly being told that my very existance is wrong.....
I would love to see more TV programmes on the drain to society that being constantly at the doctors for the slightest sniffle.....or having 10 children and no job.... or refusing to work because you get more on benefits.... or the amount of fraudulent claims the benefit system ignores... or perhaps an insight into our scandalous care system ......
I am fat.. yes I know I shouldn't be fat......I know the danger to my health that it presents - and I do everything I can to combat it whilst trying to 'live' ........ perhaps if the acceptance that fat people need to enjoy life too pervaded more into the pshychie of the people, and became less of a mission from wannabee tv presenter doctors (and sensationalism seeking programme makers) to shame us - then maybe we could intergrate ourselves more...you know... go out walking in public....go to the gym/swimming etc.... it is the fear of YOUR judgement - that keeps us indoors.....
There is a reason I am overweight..... right?? Im greedy and lazy.... I over consume and I do nothing to counteract that...... WRONG......
Yes I have my moments (who doesn't). Yes I have taken solace in the fridge instead of facing my problems head on.... (again who doesn't).... I have at times replaced love in my life, with the consumables in my cupboard....(is it really just me??)
However, for many years I have lived on a diet far more healthy than the average... I rarely buy processed meals (ok maybe a pizza from the freezer dept), my takeaway consumption is sporadic....(ie mainly unaffordable) and I live (lucky for me....) in an area where a weeks vegetables cost me less than a packet of cigarettes.... I drink 3 bottles of wine a week (ok a little excessive..... ish) but even a trip to a nutritionist/dietition at my local hospital could only suggest I eat less cheese (which I do) and go from semi skimmed milk to skimmed milk (which I will never do - i'd rather go without). I have a very demanding life, with work that surely burns as many calories as the lady sat next to me... yet I am clinically obese.... ????
This is sadly not what shames me..... the shame and humiliation I feel is when people judge me....when they make THEIR issues... my issues.....
There is an onslaught of obesity related reality tv shows lately - that inform us of how much of a drain on society I am (as opposed to drug taking, violence and excessive childbirth I suppose)......I feel constantly brow beaten about diet and excercise... with my face shoved into the emaciated (or even silicone - because they have lost all that is natural) breasts of size zero fashion icons...I cannot eat in public without the fear of ridicule, I cannot shop for clothes because the worlds fashionistas have determined I am not worthy of style (more on that later)... I have nothing left to me but guilt and the solace (and eventually more guilt....) that an extra slice of toast will bring.... I hide in shame away from your laughter and your force fed ideas of perfection... I am just as much (ok maybe a bit more) human than you - I am quite aware of the downfalls of being me without constantly being told that my very existance is wrong.....
I would love to see more TV programmes on the drain to society that being constantly at the doctors for the slightest sniffle.....or having 10 children and no job.... or refusing to work because you get more on benefits.... or the amount of fraudulent claims the benefit system ignores... or perhaps an insight into our scandalous care system ......
I am fat.. yes I know I shouldn't be fat......I know the danger to my health that it presents - and I do everything I can to combat it whilst trying to 'live' ........ perhaps if the acceptance that fat people need to enjoy life too pervaded more into the pshychie of the people, and became less of a mission from wannabee tv presenter doctors (and sensationalism seeking programme makers) to shame us - then maybe we could intergrate ourselves more...you know... go out walking in public....go to the gym/swimming etc.... it is the fear of YOUR judgement - that keeps us indoors.....
The definition of a BBW model.
I am contacted on an almost daily basis by women asking how they can become a BBW model and I generally answer with as much patience and encouragement as I can, however......
The world NEEDS BBW models.....thats MODELS that are BIG and BEAUTIFUL... not fat women, scantily clad and badly photographed (if thats what you choose as a vocation, fine, but you are a soft porn promoter not a BBW model.). How do I know this.... its where I started.....I had a choice once, whether to continue striving for mainstream acceptance, or to go for the quick buck and get out the big guns (literally) for money. Now I do not judge ANYONE who chooses to enter the porn industry and succintly those who support it (so long as their respect levels are high) but I made a choice to take the road less travelled and show that a woman of ANY size can be a visually interesting commodity both artistically and commercially (even with my Alternative look).
The very definition of the tag BBW is BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN and to launch that into modeling you require two things other than size...... modeling TALENT and more determination than the average formula one driver. Modeling (at any size) is not just about getting dressed up and sitting in front of a camera looking pretty, even if all the hard work such as styling and make up is done for you. It requires skill and presence, a certain ability to transfer something not necessarily seen in reality - INTO the camera. Something that moves a photographer to build and create when they download the image for editing.
For too long the realm of the BBW model has been set into the 'fetish' genre and yes Facebook deems the fanpages of BBW models as sexual fetishes.... how does that make YOU feel? If you are a fat woman are you pleased that the majority of representation out there deems you a sexual object?
Being fat and being exploited, bullied, discriminated against or ridiculed in anyway is no longer acceptable such as being taunted for being black, or gay, or even ginger is no longer acceptable. Yes we KNOW we need to lose weight blah blah blah etc - however we still have to LIVE in the meantime.
A BBW model should be there to show what can be done with the larger body, How it can be dressed, moved, appreciated and accepted. A BBW model should be able to produce beauty shots as well as action shots, promote art aswell as fashion. Arouse yes, inspire more........
I am contacted on an almost daily basis by women asking how they can become a BBW model and I generally answer with as much patience and encouragement as I can, however......
The world NEEDS BBW models.....thats MODELS that are BIG and BEAUTIFUL... not fat women, scantily clad and badly photographed (if thats what you choose as a vocation, fine, but you are a soft porn promoter not a BBW model.). How do I know this.... its where I started.....I had a choice once, whether to continue striving for mainstream acceptance, or to go for the quick buck and get out the big guns (literally) for money. Now I do not judge ANYONE who chooses to enter the porn industry and succintly those who support it (so long as their respect levels are high) but I made a choice to take the road less travelled and show that a woman of ANY size can be a visually interesting commodity both artistically and commercially (even with my Alternative look).
The very definition of the tag BBW is BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN and to launch that into modeling you require two things other than size...... modeling TALENT and more determination than the average formula one driver. Modeling (at any size) is not just about getting dressed up and sitting in front of a camera looking pretty, even if all the hard work such as styling and make up is done for you. It requires skill and presence, a certain ability to transfer something not necessarily seen in reality - INTO the camera. Something that moves a photographer to build and create when they download the image for editing.
For too long the realm of the BBW model has been set into the 'fetish' genre and yes Facebook deems the fanpages of BBW models as sexual fetishes.... how does that make YOU feel? If you are a fat woman are you pleased that the majority of representation out there deems you a sexual object?
Being fat and being exploited, bullied, discriminated against or ridiculed in anyway is no longer acceptable such as being taunted for being black, or gay, or even ginger is no longer acceptable. Yes we KNOW we need to lose weight blah blah blah etc - however we still have to LIVE in the meantime.
A BBW model should be there to show what can be done with the larger body, How it can be dressed, moved, appreciated and accepted. A BBW model should be able to produce beauty shots as well as action shots, promote art aswell as fashion. Arouse yes, inspire more........
Sunday 26 February 2012
My letter to the Lorraine show - following the show on Friday 24/02/12...
Hello there...
I am not an avid watcher of the Lorraine show, but managed to catch a small portion of Fridays show.
I would like to express my DISGUST at the comments made by the american journalist Guliana Ransic during the 'Oscars' segment.
At what point could Helena Bonham Carter be described as 'VERY PORKY' other than by an emaciated, image obsessed american who is part of a system that destroys the confidence of many women. Now I understand that it is part of Ms Ransics job to be critical and yes clothes and clothing choices should be discussed... however pointed barbs at an individuals body shape are OUT OF ORDER and should not be tolerated under ANY circumstances. Would that Ms Ransic refer to someone as 'very black' or 'very gay' the outcry at such discrimination would be palpable to be heard... a persons body size (especially one so NOT very porky as Helena Bonham Carters) should NEVER be an issue under scrutiny by the media and I hope Ms Ransic is severely reprimanded for her obvious (and yes, she knew what she had said as soon as the words had left her mouth) faux pas.
I am a BBW/Plus Sized model working very hard to promote self esteem and self acceptance within the plus sized community and the discussion of this incident (and others similar from the media as a whole) on my Facebook Fanpage shows how the presentation of attitude from people such as yourself and Ms Ransic becomes prevalent in the minds of those who watch. These attitudes continue to grow and become much distorted in the wider world and lay people of the larger community open to self doubt and bullying... or worse.
I sincerely hope that you will take on board my comments and reply and perhaps even an open and frank discussion about the merits of negative attitudes towards larger people.
Thank you for your time
Rachel Cooper Wherry (Mrs)
Cherry Red Rachy (Alternative BBW Model
Hello there...
I am not an avid watcher of the Lorraine show, but managed to catch a small portion of Fridays show.
I would like to express my DISGUST at the comments made by the american journalist Guliana Ransic during the 'Oscars' segment.
At what point could Helena Bonham Carter be described as 'VERY PORKY' other than by an emaciated, image obsessed american who is part of a system that destroys the confidence of many women. Now I understand that it is part of Ms Ransics job to be critical and yes clothes and clothing choices should be discussed... however pointed barbs at an individuals body shape are OUT OF ORDER and should not be tolerated under ANY circumstances. Would that Ms Ransic refer to someone as 'very black' or 'very gay' the outcry at such discrimination would be palpable to be heard... a persons body size (especially one so NOT very porky as Helena Bonham Carters) should NEVER be an issue under scrutiny by the media and I hope Ms Ransic is severely reprimanded for her obvious (and yes, she knew what she had said as soon as the words had left her mouth) faux pas.
I am a BBW/Plus Sized model working very hard to promote self esteem and self acceptance within the plus sized community and the discussion of this incident (and others similar from the media as a whole) on my Facebook Fanpage shows how the presentation of attitude from people such as yourself and Ms Ransic becomes prevalent in the minds of those who watch. These attitudes continue to grow and become much distorted in the wider world and lay people of the larger community open to self doubt and bullying... or worse.
I sincerely hope that you will take on board my comments and reply and perhaps even an open and frank discussion about the merits of negative attitudes towards larger people.
Thank you for your time
Rachel Cooper Wherry (Mrs)
Cherry Red Rachy (Alternative BBW Model
Life with a Cherry on top: Welcome to my mind..... A roller coaster would hav...
Life with a Cherry on top: Welcome to my mind..... A roller coaster would hav...: Welcome to my mind..... A roller coaster would have been easier - but you have landed - good luck trying to understand it :))
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